i will always love you mom :')

&& it's time to let go :')

I love her and I'll miss her. She had suffered alot, now it's time to let her go. Though it's hard, but keeping the suffered may not seem a nice way too. It's just now it's only 3 of us left. Tears rolling but yet still I can't have her back. She brought me into the world. She had been fighting and struggling for many years. Now, she can have a long peace upthere. I believe she'll be in comfort. Her lost leave a remarkable footprint in every one heart. She had made a different in every one lifes. Her present shall not be forget, forever. I love you ma, r.i.p. 

regreted or not?

The present is a point just passed.

Letting go of the past and moving on is essential in order to live a more fulfilled life.

Life is not about what has happened, but about what is going to happen.

&&life now is what made because of yesterday. There will be none you having now if you changed something yesterday (: As they say, there will be rainbow after the rain. The rain symbolic the problem you're having now BUT after getting trough the 'rain' you'll see a rainbow shining through your life.

ask yourself now, do you regret doing something in the passed? WELL, 99.9% of you might say yes. It's normal to think that way( I think haha ) BUT have you ever think about NOW? Will you ever get something you have now if you changed something yesterday? 100% NO darling (: well, the consequences might have in two ways GETTING BETTER or GETTING WORST. This is just an opinion of the thoughts of mine towards all of this stuff, because there were just some people feeling a whole lot of regret feeling towards stuffs and actually making it an another big problem. Take time to let go, on the way towards the step of letting go, you'll know how much easier the steps could walk(:

you'd fucking spent a romantic moment with her doing stuff that I DON'T LIKE darling (: thx for pissing me off.

some poem that I found&feels like sharing it thought.

Regret I don't spend my time, In regret I don't waste my time, Wishing things weren't set, In stone I don't want a chance,  To go back And while I'm not proud, Of the things I've done, I wouldn't go back, And change a single one I don't live my life, In regret I don't waste my time, Lying around in sorrow, On my bed I don't want a chance, To go back, To try and make up, For the things I lack Happiness, it seems, Has found me in spite of me Do I sometimes wish, That there were things, That I had never done? Of course I do, Because I am human, But I have learned from every one But wishing is not! The same! As regretting everything, Because some things just can't change I don't waste my life, Living in the past I find truth and wisdom, Before me on my path I find hope, I find faith I find there is no escape, From life And in that moment, When my dreams seem to be gone I remember... It's always darkest before the dawn

ciaos bonita (:

something to talk about?

let me start with a hello? or bueno? hmmph. I think kan, sarcasm really do attack me nowadays lah. or please don't say you are not of the attackers (: omg, I feel like killing all of them oh but kan I don't want to be a mindless person or should I say childish person. I'm going to treat you all nicely as I can. dude,my english getting so simple nowadays I really do need dictionary lah. So well, apart from the sarcasm stuff, now I'm not sure wether I want to go Pengakap Camp or RAY camp. hmph, because I think I'm going to choose either one of it but I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE!!!!!! both is going to be my last camp. oh gawd, help me lah here. Now, i feel like not going both because I want to spend one week in the house with mom since I hardly ever got time to spend time with and also with my muah bookiesss aiyor~ so ma fan eh :( have to think this have to think that, no wonder my pimples is growing non-stop PLUS the getting my late night sleep part.

hmph. I miss the ussual time when mom can still be normal and walk and drive me around kk or shopping with her. now I think the one who I always shopping with is Hazel lah, if wanna bring mom go jalan also need wheelchair&she'll get tired real fast. hmph. I really do miss the old time lah. seeing the situation now make my tears rolling oh. dad getting stressed up because now is he who doing all the job except for the taking care&housework lah. mom staying at home 24/7 under aunty&grandme care. Me? at school? I don't really talk about this stuff because it's just some part of my life which I don't want to talk about. I rather to keep it as a halfly secret&they will reveal themselves lah. talking about it makes me cry bah :( I don't like that feeling. HAHA I'm so weird, whatever :P Brother now also belum really understand the situation also. $$getting all used up right now. SO! have to jimat cermat really really really EXTREME omglah haiyer~

someday I'll get a life like them&&i'll be someone who you can't think of now (:

tution went well&I started to get along with my tution mate. crossed out the dirty jokes lah HAHAHA left me alone after tution&scared so got a talk with him while waiting for dady. next week is tution test week&&after next week is ujian setara. omg must show something lah! gogogo lucynda!!! HAHAHA wtfm.

ciaos bonita (:

it's just another story told

quick update for today. morning reached school&&there already one prefect to start nagging around, kan HAZEL? pukima make my mood damn panas eh. nevermind HAHA nowadays kan, I malas to smile. So stop asking me why I'm like that&&ask me to smile whatsoever stuff. I just malas okai? That's the way I am (: &&now got few people makes me so panas when they asked stupid question. girls, are ever really in the situation? I afraid NOT darling. So deal with my situation which ain't yours PIAK PIAK PIAK :P so Bazaar is going to be held next month, I'm so gonna paksa people buy the coupon from me HAHA. Class having our own stall too&&class t-shirt. oiyoyyoy~ harap they deal with the color a.s.a.p. so that I can deal with the design thing&&blablabla~ 

I'm trying so hard right now to not get along with the heat. I'm trying so hard to do my own stuff&&being just like what I'm supposed to be in there (: If you see me acting weirdly, because I just making a slight difference here, okai? hehehe. Sister asked me to see her this morning, I DID TELL THE TRUTH YO! well, except for something which can't be exposed lah. hahahaha :P i'm memang serious with him okey?i don't geddit why you making it a big fuss (:

ciaos bonita (:

happy vday (:

Vday was just a nice one for me. Snowcap sucks HAHA but love is still there. Again I malas update (: you can't picture what joy I got&I can't picture it too (: Watched the curious case of benjamin BUTTON. he sent me home&&it's awkward.

I'D DO YOUR HOMEWORK - yes he did :D

anak

because no one loves you like I do

sunday morning with KIKI

james & anthony

i love you kiki

ciaos bonita (:

i hate this part

babi bitch attacked library 

junior

muah

hani hani I LOVE HANI!!!!

tam&dayang (:

sunday muah

KIKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

malas update anything, HAHAHA enjoy picture (:

another packed week

take care of my heart - because I've left it with you

another busy days of mine ugh. thursday night was physics and it went well, and I'm starting to fall in love with the subject EXCEPT for chemistry ugh ugh ugh :( Flu is coming to attack me which already attacked me, at school I was sneezing non-stop omg there seriously need a GERAKAN GOTONG ROYONG around the school. hish! Too many dust until my allergic nose sneeze and get flue plus cold weather again and rain rain rain which making my flue getting really worst :( Friday, it was raining the whole day. Thank god I brought sweater along BUT that Hazel ah, go wear my jacket liao terus don't give back until habis school eh. ADUI~!!!!!! cold ah mameeeii~ Performance on the 14th next Saturday at Wisma SEDCO for Kempen Anti-Merokok. So going to practise again one whole week next week :( another busy busy busy weeks OMG Noon went to library with Deb with Chongs dad sent us because it was raining really damn fucking hard. HAHAHA few stuff happened there and funny stuff and stupid bikin panas stuff HAHAHA Saturday was practise day, it was a really quick moved for every step omg but everybody is trying to catch up. another stupid unplanned plan from Ling, went to Citymall to buy Vday stuff with her which makes me NOW whole body ache ache ache all over hahahahahaha. 

ciaos bonita (:

tagged

tagged by hazelR

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers in their blog.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz.
(Those that are tagged cannot refuse.)
C) Continue this game by tagging 8 other people OK.-
anybody


1.What have you been doing recently?- tution tution tution nghhhh
2.Do you ever turn your cell phone off?- when I charge it
3.What happened at 10am today?- talking with the girl
4.When did you last cry?- forgot
.5.Believe in fate/destiny?- somewhere in between
6.What do you want in your life now?- now?? him&money :(
7.Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?- depends on the situation
8.What's your favourite thing to do on the bed?- my blanket
9.What bottoms are you wearing now?- undies&shorts? wtf -.-
10.What's the nicest things in your inbox?- just deleted
11.Do you tend to make the relationship complicated?- depends to him
12.Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?- omg YA haha I'm wearing Ling Tshirt which is belonged to Talie :D:D
13.What was the last movie you caught?- bedtime story (punya sandi HAHA)
14.What are you proud of?- something you don't want to know (:
15.What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say?- who keep inbox anyway?
16.What was the last song you sang out loud?- close to you(carpenters)
17.Do you have any nicknames?- lucynda-joey-lucy-joy
18.What does the newest text say?- why do I want to tell you!?
19.What time did you go to bed last night?- 11
20.Are you currently happy?- well yeah
21.Who gives you the best advise?- anybody that I could trust on
22.Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?- nope
23.Who did you talk on the phone last night?- no one
24.Is something bugging you know?- i want to be tall :(
25.Who was the last person to make you laugh?- my bitch (:

muah 100th post

sister talked about "pretending kaki sakit pakai slipper" this morning and yeah I was wearing slipper. Teacher Munis pointed me too, it's not funny -.- want to see my toenail? HAHA Now I know who is that girl already, she's not that hot what he had said. DUDE!? hot meh her? aiyor. Moral class was fun. There's one convo at one chapter, one of them is LUCY. They made me read the convo same with Momo, Jesh&Iris. Stupid convo made me embarrass myself too HAHA I missed out PE today because again my toe nail. ush, i want to do fitness leh because my ass is like slagging sudah nih hahahaha I want kasih firm back again LOL no much stuff to update, having chemistry tonight ugh 2009 fast fast over eh. OH! I'm still considering if want to join Bakat Interact or not this year. Kinda malas a little bit plus the tution stuff. HOHOHO im a fucking service co now at pengakap PUNYALAH ew i don't want -.- If you want take lah I got not argue to make with ya (: HAHAHA Hazel is upthere near my house now --- MUSEUM. carilah lah kaw my house :p 

I like talking stuff which makes me go gagaga today was fun HAHAHA i love my friends GAGAGA :D:D

ciaos bonita (:

thinking too much eh ):

when she's the one everything to me

excel is over phew&&now I'm started to think too much. Too much about erm yes SPM oh shit stupid. I don't know lah how to face it eh :( (omg stupid movie oh kena show sekarang -.-) walked home like usual because dad is busy&&mom hmph yeah. She's admitted again for some reason which I can't mention here, just hoping for the best lah.

oh, oi bernard sorry if you panas kah whatever. i don't mean to kasih panas juga. okey? im seriously sorry. I don't have your number if not I send sms suda. so just kastaw here lah(: past is past now kita friend sudah.

Add maths is a bitch. I wanna kill add maths HOHOHO~ yesterday started tution&&that 3 erm chubby boy? annoying abit lah name, especially when they called me JOEY omg like i wanna kill THE VOICE lah not the boy,wtv. OI HAZEL! maciam plan oh? Valentines got school pulak. HISH. @#$%^&*(&^%$#@#$% oh ya, saturday another big months for Hazel,buahahahahahahaha. muah (: where's debra?she promised to reload nih.aiyaaaaaaa.

for my song which is the latest one that I composed for me&jess guitar duet, the story behind it IS REAL. just for you guys to know that this stuff happened in real life but great strength&determination is needed to go trough with it. LINKIES FOR THE LYRICS HERE.

tiada ribut tiada rumah runtuh maw begaduh. -.- mata terjeling mulut terbuka -.- no comment lah kawan tolong kawan blablabla

punya buduh punya tshirt

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA yo!

oishna, idk why i like this so cool nih. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ciaos bonita (:

do I look like I care?

You’re like a rocket in my mind
That’s waiting to define everything about me no one knew

And you stick like a poster on my wall
As if you dont wanna move

a little quick update for today as tonight going to be studying for tomorrow excel(last minute one). Went to english mass to meet him. Just sitting at the staircase with him&James. As usual James is that bikin panas and omg i love him DAMN hahaha. James wants to buy book so went to the bookshop&&I saw Bennitta&Belvina YO WHATSUP WITH THAT LOOK YO? hahahahaha, "ISN'T IT A SIN?" he said that in the book shop, very funny Jared -.- so then decided to wait outside for James since the line was THAT LONG. When we're outside something stupid happened,like omg oh! He was hugging me and we were looking at the people at the hall. There's this one chubby lady standing infront of us then I was like "so familiar oh this lady" guees what? That's my aunty&&I have to let go hand&&pura-pura walk away. so stupid, church what a place to date -.- Went to canteen because I'm hungry haha James eats too only left my anorexic boyfriend don't want to eat. TALK TALK TALK CRAP CRAP CRAP JARED JARED JARED brought him to church&&heard his voice singing :p nyek nyek nyek. Saw Jess during communion&&she's doing that that thumb up hand HAHA very funny jess -.- Aaron&Francess was a slight shock when we told them, HAHA OISH! Aaron&me punch me BECAUSE HE FREAKING FORGOT PUKIMA PUNYA JARED ISAAC MATIN!!!!! ish nah makan kaw my punch :D:D i love you still bitch. Junior met him sudah (my lil bro)&&Jared thought he don't like him. Asked him then he said that he likes him BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE muah (: I like that answer&it really makes me&him felt better because sometimes it hard for him to likes people who is anonymous. so ciao for now 

ciaos bonita (: