block art.

greatest story ever told.

im gonna spend the few months being happy with my friend before my friend ciao :O my friend is the best bitch ever too ((: im happy with what i got now. no regret. whatever happened, happen for a reason.

obsession.

when will be the right time to say i love you?

it's turning upside down.

you know, sometimes when you think your friends is the one who'd been there for you, who'd been so special for you. but shits just happened. your friend just turned upside down in such a while, is it because you did something wrong? something shits that your friend just can't except it? question is running trough your mind now. don't come to me when something happened to your relationship. because I already did my best to give you a hint that it's not going to work out. it seems forever when your in a relationship. but just wake up in reality

and you're the problem that you can't feel

seems like revenged is still in your heart. you can't feel, you don't know how I feel (: you just don't know that I cared. but nevermind, that's life. now i'm just glad YOU scared of me. and the other YOU is scared of me too. actually I don't get it why you 2 should scared of me, but 1 thing for sure is because of something you going to do wrong or DID wrong, right? it's normal. i'm just protecting someone who i cared from hurted by you two. but seems like that someone doesn't understand that. oooohwell, ouch so ouch. one more time, NEVERMIND (: my friend just forgot that whose been there for everything. wow. maybe not everything, but when you find me did i ever ignored? erm, don't think so. ok, am not going to care anymore. she say im mean for doing this but who care?


goodluck to you for this friday competition.

bitch bro.

meet ijah.

i call her baby.

quick update before i go to school. yesterday went to 1b and all of the sudden my bro vanish. he didn't turn on his cellphone. stupid fucktard. i was searching for him using my stupid heels, which i think i will never use heels again except for my wedding day :D or i think even wedding day i won't :p he asked me to walk barefoot but no way man. if he is there then I dare to walked bare foot. stupid, he make me sad and happy at the same time. im his bitch :D ok lah ciao dulu. school is in 1 more hour time (:

terima kasih cinta.

looks like HIM :D i love afghan gagaga

the secret beneath my heart.

lyrics by iva and composed by lucynda.

cut the screaming out hahahahaa shit,my voice is shit. BUT i just want you all to listen to it. im searching for a singer to all my songs. who interested you can tell me. and make sure you can bring all my songs the where i want it to be. if not NAH~ you will not make it though (: i got bunch of songs for you to sing (:

single yet unavailable.

i know that sooner or later there will be bunch of questions going to attacked me.so now,im going to tell here AND please lah don't ask why because it's privacy and just don't ask me why lah ok? I broke up with jared. it's for own good and it's not the time yet for both of us. that's all I can tell. i'm still in a relationship which is 'FRIEND' relationship with him. i still sayang him bah (: 5 months with him is a the sweetest experience and memories. ain't not going to forget that.

so okey, tomorrow aunty alice going to hang out with my family. so whatever lah. not going to care much hahahahahhaa.

can I say i'm okey already?

This road has got me down, but I'm standing.
This heart breaks and this life aches.
But how you stand in the middle of it all,
Will be the impact of your fall.
You did your best, my hearts a mess.
But I won't let this one tear me to the ground.
I'll keep on fighting and I've found,
I'm standing

This road has got me down,
but i'm standing.

made my day.

this video made my day. talked to izah and made me feel alot better. im tired of crying and izah says that she don't want to talk to me again if I cry again hahahaha.

adiós amor

todo yendo a ser alright

i woke up with a tear track on my face.
i forgot what i dreamt about.
but it must have been something about you.
im usually strong, i usually dont cry.
but nowadays it seems so hard.

but i try,
i try to be what i used to be.
i try to be the man,
i try to do all i can.
i wish i could turn back the hands of time
and find out what went wrong,
but i know that is meant to be,
this is hard for me to say, but goodbye.

i cant seem to get a hold of myself.
cant even explain what goes on around me.
i know that i learned from all my mistakes.
but its too late to change and now its time to walk away

so goodbye, just know that this is hard for me. but things just arent the same. everytime i hear your name, i wanna scream out loud, i dont know what is left in me. what we had is now a memory. even though this is hard for me to say, this is goodbye.

it hurts to have to leave
but who am i to say that we arent meant to be
our love started with a hello
and ended with this goodbye and now.
simply letting go

ciaos bonita (:

time off huh?

because one thing for sure,you were never a backstop for me. i'm sorry if i'm the one who's been messing up your studies life (; just so you know, you are something incredible which had happened in my life.好きよ 愛してるわ :'(

quotes for today:

james: why you wear skirt oh?why not jeans? *sambil looking at my maxxi skirt.

jason: i feel like pulling your skirt down oh! *me?wtf lah.giggle giggle

malcom : EVERYBODY!SCHOOL IS COMING! *everybody groan :D

me:*on the phone with hazel*i'm crossing the road now. hazel: oi gila!dn you do perkara gila!

i want to fly off to planet jupiter. maybe there's something which can't hurt me. i'll built my own rocket. so that no one will ruined it down. and maybe i'll meet peoples who will never leave me. things get uncontrolled this year. never thought there'll be so many obstacles for me to finish up this year time. i hate 2009, i'm sorry to say but i hate it so much. it gave me a nightmare and trauma by thinking about it so much. somehow i wants it to be end as soon as possible but somehow i never wants it to be an end. oxy moron much. lifes get hard now but maybe sooner it's going to be easier for me to go on.

yer.

so funny oh when you guys suddenly realise who's Taylor Lautner a.k.a. Jacob is. wahahahhaa.

i wrote something in the bus today. because I'm just getting gayer over here. you know you are something special to me. but I can't just sit back and do nothing while you dissapear to nowhere. life without you ain't easy to go. where are you? can you feel what i'm feeling now? how are you? it's been so long. so long that I can't truly imagine how could I go through this. but i'm still hoping and hoping that I could get a chance when I'm walking in the city and talk to you. talk like there's no tomorow. is there anything I could change or do to make it start all over again? i love you. keep in mind that there no one could love me like you do.

-bus in the city loves.

soulmate.

HE IS SOMEONE AMAZING.







te quero mucho :'(

last phone call.

u knw dat day....i ask him
"have you ever missed me?"
then he quiet down.... for a while..
then he said "wha...what? can you repeat that question? i didn't really heard you"
so...again i said..... "have you ever missed me?"
then he answered "you're the most stupid woman on earth"
then i was quiet...
he said... "i love you"

and that's the last phone call.

took that from my friend.not mine. *jealous.

someone.

I never wanted a woman that wanted
Me for my name or material things
See I always hope for a woman
that´s so sure, emotionally secure
With spiritual faith
A woman that I can trust with all of my secrets
And even listen to all of my issues
A woman who never judge
Me or how I was
She deals with me strictly through love

Someone who will put up with the things
Loving me can bring
But still be there to see us through
Someone who would put up
With the strange and complicated things
Cause I would do the same for her too
Someone who I can be real with
ain´t gotta be perfect
Because loving one another is all that matters
it´s not hard to explain
So believe me when I say
That I found all of that in you

All that I hope for a friendship that´s so pure
A girl I can talk to bout
whatever is on my heart
A woman that needs me
That trust and believes me
That wont take my kindness as
some kind of weakness
A woman who bares her soul who
is willing to let go
That wants me to lead her but
knows how to take control
And when I am feeling down
Cause things are going wrong
She fills me up and makes me feel strong

You are that someone who loves me
Through all my inperfections
You know my heart is filled with
nothing but good intentions
You are the one that told me
Long as we got us
Nothing matters
You are the one that sees the
joy through the pain
You are my light through the rain
Here and now
Girl I am saying it´s you
you´re my heart it´s you
Your that someone I can truly
say that I´ll never find
another love like you.

cockroach inside my belly.

I felt something uncomfortable. Some weird aura. I don't seems to be click with it. I don't like it at all. I don't want anything ruined. not a single pieces.

make me fall in love with you again.

hello loves. im sick haha but i'm happy already. make me gay darling. i love when they love my cooking hahaha im gay about that. i love hiiim. nyahahahahaha gay gay gayyyy.

scream.

sick of it.

the days was just okey today but not until evening. it's raining when I'm still on the road, fighting up for victory in traffic jammed. my mood now? see that picture there. that's my mood. took many picture but seems like I don't habe any feeling to post up few off it. only hazel picture which is the one beside this post, pfft. sometimes I thought of making my private viewable by everybody but sometimes not. so I end up choosing to still keep my blog privare [; breakfast was cheesy wedges with colsloew at kfc. weird enough two peeps going to kfc withouth eating any meet hahaha :p after few months trying to eat seafood or specificly fish and vege only, now I'm officially a pescetarian. Meat is easy for me but egg? hell no. But still I got to keep it away from my diet plan. I think my tution place gave me flu already ): because it's dusty there and I got sensitive nose haiiih~ nevermind.

hazel, you preetyful cousin didn't text me until now. and now is 10:32 pm. i've got no mood to text anybody. sorry. i think i'm getting fever because of your cousin too. your cousin made me think too much. preeeetyy boy of mine.

说好的幸福呢?

Matrikulasi a.k.a. matriks. I just found out from my cousin that the government don't approved anything come from there. They still prefer diploma from the student. Even if the student made it through to university, majority will not get the course that they applied. how pathetic was that right? One of my cousing friends applied for science blabla bio course but the department gave the friend science computer. They said that the friend DID applied for it. wow man. so wow.

I'm still not sure what do I want. Duh, of course I'm still sticking with dentist. But I got to see first too. I'm applying to what the economy wants. I know I'm thinking too far. I love camera. I love making a photo look alives. It's just so exciting for me to shoot a nice lively picture. But it's just an hobby. I joined a photography contest last year and I got a certificate for it. I want to join more but i'll see first haha.

Composing new melody is one of my favourite routine too. You know like, when you saw something or feel something you just wants to show it in a notes or melody or music way. I got those music rooming around my head always. The second I got it I will take my phone and record it. I don't care id I look weird but it's a must to record it.

I ever think of opening a healthy restaurant. I got this thinking that in future, all the people will get more serious in thinking of healthy lifestyle. My cooking will be like NO ajinamoto. NO meat, i'm thinking of vegan - vegetarian or pescatarian restaturant. but it will be more to pescatarian. LESS salt. When I cook at home my recipe is like that. And we don't do do any ajinamoto in our food. I don't see any point in taking ajinamoto. pffft. SALT, why do you have to take that much salt either? -.-

Dancing. It came to a nightmare when I found out that I can't dance anymore. The doctor asked me to stop dancing. When he asked me to do so, it's like half of my life being bang down by a great punch of a gigantic freako news. I love expressing my feeling, any feelings will do in body movement too. Not only music but dance movement. I could cry to understand a body movement which don't need any translation at all. damn. Why should I end up like this? damn. nevermind. I could just give ideas to peeps right now. So sad.

ciaos bonita (:

cheatin heart.

I tried so hard my dear to show, that you're my every dream. Yet you're afraid each thing I do, is just some evil scheme, a memory from you lonesome past, keep us far apart. Why can't I free your doubtful mind? & melt you cold, cold heart. Another love before my time, made your heart sad & blur. & so my heart us paying now, for thing I didn't do. In anger, unkind words are said, that make the teardrops start. You'll never know how much it hurts, to see you sad & cry. You know you need & want my love, yet you're afraid to try. Why do you run & hide from light? To try it ain't just smart. There were time when I believed, that you belong to me. But, now I know your heart is shackled to a memory. The more I learned to care for you, the more we drift apart. cold, cold heart.