nang nyaman

Dear 3rd week of August,

YOU'RE AWESOME.

drumroll

2 week had ended perfectly with a smoke, 3rd one coming soon. i love you august <3

august bebeh

August, you're done for the first week. Can't wait for the 4th week :)

little life

August, I wanna meet you sooner.

my perfect getaway

Hello summer,

once you started, I'm already enjoying every moment of you,

never a second was wasted.

A smirk upon you came when I encounter the memories in you,

you're the best I ever had.

Summer,

you taught me that relationships can end but friendship/familyship is something that should be sacred eternally.

Hello summer,

we've come to an end again.

xxx.

jumping of the plane.

dear earthlink,

have you ever feel like doing something and without even thinking anymore further you already know that it's the greatest decision you've ever made and you'll do it without any regret and depression for the consequences.

Somehow right now, I prefer of being in the state where I wanna be there all alone and there's no other except for family and buddies. Something inside me daring myself to burst myself and go out doing it. Now, I can only step forward and not looking or even peeking to the past, no more.

All we ever do is say goodbye.

John Mayer is on replay now.

You realized that when you think saying goodbye slash letting go is a pain in the ass than you thought, you'll try to find a route to solve the problem and finally in the end, you'll always end with a goodbye to it and finally it'll just drift away like how the wind moves by you. By the time, you won't even realize that it actually already left behind your mind and it'll just be one of the memories in your life.

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.

Memories stays forever, but moving forward is a big step for every stair that you'll be taking in life.

you'll smell nothing for death

She knows with the girl who speaks what's on her mind, keep what's suppose to be hers and always keeping all her stuff neatly placed. But last night was an incident that shall be a lesson for everybody.

Despite the circumstances that she's going to go through after this, I know she got a strong solid heart.

I'm keeping you in my prayer and thought everyday. Do come back safely buddy, we'll miss you so much.

erm ya, it's PAYDAY. rent the car, shop till we drop and shouted all the way back to college. Awesome.

you very own pathetic pleasure to be cut down soon and forever.

Sometimes, something that's just beyond your own capability of vision will happen and that'll be the time when you actually realized that existence of that colony is actually real and gasping is not an option to pick on the mean time anger rise for every thoughts that running with the surprise that given.

At a moment like this, you'll tend to choose either to act upon it or shut yourself down in the dark. Just be sure that you're not go feel the pressure because it will only show the weakness inside you.

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.

It's still impossible to believe that the colony really determined to fight against the world. Embracing themselves in the eyes of the real world will be a joke for everyone around.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Pleasing your own absurdity will contrast yourself a whole lot better in sight. A physical sight of yours will never fool us type of mind. Us people don't buy other people thoughts with physical beauty or manipulating words because us people is living in a higher level of thinking and better than your colony. Plus, where d'you come from doesn't matter. It's how you developed your thinking level is what matter right now. Arousing the subject of the originality doesn't just showing your plain stupidity of creating the spark between the stone, it also showed that your a moron thinking that we belong in your moron colony.

You're trying to spark the stone so hardly since the start of this, and now you've seen the spark gradually on the move to burn your own pride and rape every self confidence of yours that'll be drag down to the mouth of a volcano. For every move that you'll take after this, will be a step for you going down to another level of hell living here.

For every love, hate, war, stupid, funny story, it'll always have an ending to it. We'll make sure we'll win over for the victory and you'll end cause you started it first. MORON.

Hope you took the time munching this to your brain.

dada.

When Gaia intruded.

H O P E

Let's talk about something, shall we?

What d'you think about mother earth? The god who protects the world and keeping it in a well balance for over billions of decades?

There's always a hidden force to balance between one object to another. In another way to say is the 'Ying&Yang' force. That's what I thought about Mother Earth. I may not believe that the god really exist, I doubted it. But it's just a wild theory for me that the Earth is formed in a purpose and built a center of balance for it that made it stable to be live, a force that keeping everything to where they're belong. But slowly, as humans mind getting wiser, a matter of disruption of the nature is wildly getting on and continuing every now and then, although....

Although awareness is given times after times. Although actions had been taken for those who's responsible and eagerly to save the earth. Although the communities is already aware of the consequences. Although, thousand of living things was crushed down by the alert that Mother Earth gave.

Lay back and think about this.

It's sowkey if you don't care though.

Stuck on you

Few months to go until the 24th months!!!!! I don't know but it's just so awesome to say 24(?) wuuu,smexay :D

Between,

Happy 16th months to my beloved monster.

I know we've walked on the thin ice, and now we're just gonna make them believe that we're gonna stuck on each other, forever B) ouh yeah, I know I sounds like a psycho and acted like one too, you know you love me no matter what right? Heeeee, no matter how fat am I, no matter how noisy I am, no matter how annoying I am, no matter how fugly I am, no matter how fucked up my attitude is, you're still there waiting patiently. Damn, I love you monster. rawr.

sore in the vein.

It's crawling back again, it's like a wild thorny Ocotillo is growing vigorously inside my spine. The only way to stop it from growing more is consuming more drugs inside me. I'm actually preventing drugs from entering my diet because Piriton is already a drug to my daily bases diet. I can't let myself turning down and let my body immune to it. It feels sick that I have to consume those pills just to satisfy my own nervous system pleasure. I just wanna live normally without depending on them, but can my body withstand my ego? Or I just have to hold in and wave the white flag?

I backed out from dancing, and now netball will end up in the same ending too. I don't want to worry dady and aunty alice just because of my ego. Though it's painful to do so, I know it's for my own good too. I'll just have to admit that my ability to achieve my expectation for my ownself had reached the boundary. White flag is waving, my body won.

Dogma for your perfect illusion relationship

t r u s t.

That's like trusting a person to hold the chord for you and you're trusting on them to hit the right chord while you're strumming the guitar. WOW.

It's not just about relationship&not all about relationship,k? In family, friends, work mates, un-anonymous or anonymous. It's all relying on your bricks of trust you've given towards them. Oh yeah, for sure you can't build that 'brick' easily. That's all depend on your visibility of trust that you're ready to build bring by brick for them.

Don't expect them to give the same if you're not ready to do so too.

Even if you know them since forever, always give a pace in your heart. I'm not asking you to have doubt for anybody, no no no. This is just to make sure that you have the space to be prepared for anything, in case something come tumbling down. Well, just in case tho.

The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be-and when they're not, we cy.

'confidence, strong believe in the goodness, strength, reliability of something or somebody', it's the meaning of trust.

Don't misunderstood of the meaning behind with the 'expectation' of trust you're giving to a person&this is why a space is always needed for every of us, for emergency :)

lumbosacral transitional

wuddup earth links :)

My appetite to consume more foods is back due to the imbalance hormone and menstrual that are coming pretty much SOON (?) None of my notes is properly touched or read yet though Formative is around the corner.

Rats have invaded our dorm few days ago. Stella's wardrobe was peed by it and Pepot's food containers was bitten by it! RATS!? That's my biggest phobia ever! Few days after that, they set few traps and guess what? HA! We caught it! Eat that you silly mean little mouse!!! Omg, the day I saw it inside the cage was the time when I'm still in my cranky state to take my bath. Can you just imagine the surprise I got from it? That day, the whole day, I felt uneasy and had a slight fever and a combo with migraine. Thank you rat, very very much D:

we killed the rats using chloroform in the lab on Friday, which was few days after we caught it. video throughout the process is down below this page :)

Other than the rat incidents, Rozi searched for the real way to play 'Big 2' which is in chinese 'Chuo Tai Di'. We decided to play the Hong Kong way since the game is originally played by the chinese, right? Never look down on us in this game! You never know what crazy mind will we have if you look down on us, because we might just ask you to take off your attire if you lose! hah! *and it actually happened*

Asked about the painkillers that I took from Rozi to Aunty Alice, she said the painkiller that I'm taking is way too powerful. It might cause my body to immune to Paracetamol and reject it. Perhaps I should buy another painkiller now&it's all for the sake of my beautiful spine. If you're one of my loyal reader here or you're my close friend, you'll know what's wrong with my spine.

Some one place Lili's patung busuk in a wrong way. NOT ME K.

BIG 2.

Lab 1.

Lab 2.

optimistic is a nature.

I can't keep myself being so optimistic about the times that are ahead of us because I'll keep on and keep on thinking on what will happen after that? Will I still be able to breath? Is any accident going to happen to one of us? Is another disaster going to happen some more?

It's not like I'm currently not 'living my life to fullness' as what everybody keep claiming here and there, especially after the disaster that happened few days ago in Japan. Pray for them peeps.

It's just, I'm just giving a strong understanding and awareness for every of us to think that the time actually won't give a damn about what your future plan is because actually they will come anytime they want, they will crash you down anytime you want.

Just telling, why not doing it now?

why not telling the person you love, that you love them NOW?

why not telling the person who you hurt that you're sorry, NOW?

why not doing what you want to do badly, NOW?

why wait and postponing again and again and again?

Time, that's a silent killer that we actually can't take it back. FULLSTOP.

don't worry, because when I die, I'll make sure I'll haunt you guys who treat me bitchly back!!!!!!

nah, just kidding :p

told chu bout it before.

keeping myself hush in the class (?) that's so not me.

WHEN A GIRL IS SILENT, THAT’S PRETTY DANGEROUS. SHE’S EITHER OVERTHINKING, TIRED OF WAITING, ABOUT TO BLOW, LONELY, NEEDS A HUG, FALLING APART OR CRYING INSIDE, AND MOST PROBABLY ALL OF THOSE ABOVE

had a long distance phone call with Hanna the other day. she took off the broken needle that's stuck inside my wound. I love her && you, you can just let it be the memory. I don't care if you'll say it's the best/sweet/bitter/suck/stupid memories because for me, it's the best and sweet and everything positive that ever happen to me.

"i'm single"

"yeah right...."

one of my friend told me that, and up until yesterday I didn't believe a word that she said until she really proved it. WOW WOW WOW. this really showed that relationship, no matter how long is it, no matter what connection you had with the other person, it'll always break if there are no 'ying & yang' chemistry. I'm stunned with the news, really really stunned. and I'm actually phobia of listening to one of those heartbreaking story. jeez, chill bah.

and the fuck who you think you are?! My paps never scold me in person with a lot of cursing in the convo okay. 1 hour of scolding and cursing me? it's good enough for me to give you a reason that I shouldn't be in contact with you anymore because for me, even when I want to scold a person or giving out the tension of it to them, I'll think rationally on WHY should it be them? and WHAT should be the boundary within it? You should have thought about it before opening your mouth and curse 'FUCK YOU' for a thousand time for an hour to me.

rozi and me again. swimming was fun and i think I lost 10 kg BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

mindfuck.

Rozi and Joy.

What a mindfuck to stir things up like a milkshake. My neurons is responding way to fast and yet nothing seems to get into the conclusions. I should try ready the daily horoscope book everyday so that I'll have the time to prepare myself before stepping out into the society. Outside there, it'll always something to burst me up. No, it's not pms. But I just can't hold it when people tried&did something just to screw my life. Oh yeah, FYI I'm a selfish girl who can't just hold back when my life is in the crack falling to the core of the earth. But in the mean time, I care for others too. It's just, myself is the number 1 priority&you can call this normal :p

Trust is what you have to give out carefully. Though you think there are something that worth to give trust to a person, somehow you'll always get a turn down moment&this is life. Don't put all your trust to a person, nor your boyslashgirfriend.

My holiday plan was turn down. YOU FUCKING LIAR! YOU PLANNED IT ALL YET YOU SCREW IT! phew. It was fun, going out with boyfriend, college mates and baby hazel teehee. I'm going back this evening. I think this time, I'm so happy I could die to go back to college because if I'm here, I'll always have the intention to meet him and give him a very nice big slap on the face. hahaha I should control my bitchness level now.

i'll update more in college :) dada.

after 8 months

I've been away from blogging for about 8 months perhaps? wow, this is totally amazing. I think Imma catch up with my life stories here now. Yeah yeaah, I got my tumblr but blogging and tumbling is a 2 different things. It's like either you eat you sandwich with tuna or veges. feel me?

I'm enjoying rotting in my lovely house right now. I totally enjoyed it rather than going back to that stupid moron college *sigh* 2011, please be a baby to me please? aaww, you're so cute right? *groan*

Hmmmm, I'd sort out what and what should be a private stuff and what should be public. but I'm sort of getting in between. New facebook, new number. love it love it love it. Love life? Man, get out. Is it going to be one in your gossips with the other bitches/bastards? *ngaaw*

The first semester is already a chaos slash drama for me, I hope I could keep myself away from it now. Plus with the new burden that had been given.

D'you really think this is Emma Watson? Cause this image is stuck in my fucking mind for a few hours now. Man, how could I sleep with these!??? Before it's Hayley and now? But seriously, d'you think it's the real her? WOW.

I'll have joys for this weekend with Tiara and have a break and not think what's the terrifying future that awaits me.

My colleges blogs? I found it really gay and puking after reading all of it. Sorry for bitching but yeah. Especially who covered themself with cloths which actually are the true bitch. Wooopps.

dada.